Rest vs. the Never Ending To-Do List
Do you ever feel like you can never actually relax because there is always more you could be doing?
Done with your work tasks? Yeah, but the bathroom needs cleaning!
Bathroom is clean? Sure, but what about that drawer in the bedroom that you’ve been meaning to organize for awhile??
Finished with the drawer? Well, now new work emails arrived so I need to turn back to those!
You see where I’m going with this?
That used to be my life for so long. I would decide to rest and relax, but the never-ending list of things I could be doing, emails I could be responding to and drawers I could be organizing would run on a loop in the back of my mind and feel like a little drummer boy was standing right next to me practicing his skills while I was trying to nap (guess I overdid it with the Christmas song playlists this year if a little drummer boy is the first analogy to pop into my head, but I’m sticking with it). Point it – it’s nearly impossible to rest or relax if all you’re thinking about are things you could be doing. And then, you end up feeling angry and guilty, because you think “not only did I not finish any of the tasks I was thinking about, I didn’t relax either.” Perfect lose-lose situation, if you’re looking for one of these.
So what’s the way out of this neat little catch-22 you ask? Simple - reframing how you think about your unfinished tasks! The moment this clicked for me was during one of my brain’s classic freak-outs along the lines of: “I have so much I could be doing right now and I’ll never get it done and I can’t afford to even think about watching Netflix right now but also when would I ever be able to rest again??” What I thought in that moment was how amazing it would be if I had zero things I had to or wanted to do. I thought that would be pure bliss and that’s when I’d be able to access real relaxation.
But then it hit me—that would actually be really boring and sad! I mean really, really picture that. Having literally nothing you would want to do in your life! Nothing in your home you cared enough about nourishing and maintaining! No one in your life you cared enough about to want to ever again respond to their messages! Nothing in your work to motivate you to get stuff done ever again! Nothing left to learn! Nothing left to pursue! Nothing left to capture your interest! THAT’s what my brain was envisioning as the perfect setting for relaxation? Lol, no! That’s the perfect setting for being bored and apathetic for the rest of your life.
When you really think about it, having a list of things you could be doing at any moment proves that you have people, places, activities and tasks you care about! And yes, that includes some of those most tedious to-do items that you’d rather skip. Bill paying means you have the immense privilege of a comfortable life full of amenities that millions of people across the world do not have access to. Cleaning means you have a lovely home that you care enough about to want to maintain. Responding to work emails means you have a chance to utilize your skills and get compensated for them.
So we really don’t need to fear all of the things on our list that we could be doing. Instead, we can celebrate that list, be thankful that it is not running out and is keeping our lives interesting and full. AND, we can start to relax while there are still things on the list, because relaxation is also a wonderful and amazing part of life!
Need some help getting the hang of allowing rest while also finding more joy in your to-do list? Schedule a free consult call today!
