Grind Culture and Unrealistic Calendars
I am the ultimate early-stage to-do list fan (aka ESTDLF). That’s definitely a term I just made up, and I thought giving it an acronym would make it sound super legit and fancy. Did it work?? No? Anyway, moving along.
Let me actually explain what I mean. I absolutely LOVE making to-do lists. The feeling I get from putting down everything I can think of that I want to get done on paper is a magical combination of relief, exhilaration, and pride. I even love transferring my to-do list into my calendar, moving chunks of to-do tasks across days of the week and feeling like I’ve conquered the world once I’m done. But when it comes time to start tackling the projects I’ve put together for a particular day is when my love affair with project lists comes to a crashing halt. Because that’s when I realize that what I’ve created is a list of tasks that would not be humanly possible for any person to ever finish in a 24-hour period (even if somehow eating, sleeping, or showering were off the table).
Here’s where I’m supposed to be inspirational and tell you that when I notice my list for a given day is humanly impossible, I carefully re-evaluate it, move tasks around, and come up with a realistic and doable plan that I then follow with discipline and, when I am done, I rest and relax until I am recharged and ready to conquer the world again the next day. LOL, no! This is what happens instead: I look at the to-do list in the morning, have a mini panic attach about how massive it is, spend the next two hours on Instagram trying to avoid looking at the list again, feel terrible for spending all that time on Instagram and panic some more for having even less time for my list of tasks, begrudgingly finish a couple of the easier tasks on the list, realize the work day is almost done, and then spend the evening either trying to frantically “catch up” on the tasks I didn’t tackle, or forcing myself to “rest” while my head is spinning from freaking out about my lack of productivity and I feel anything but rested by the time bedtime rolls around.
Does any of that sound familiar? Are you are fellow ESTDLF like me (I am if not persistent when it comes to my acronyms)? My guess is, if you found your way to my page the answer is probably yes. After all, we live in a grind culture where productivity is held up as an unparalleled virtue separating the awesome and successful people from the slackers and underachievers out there. In a desire to be a part of the awesome-people group, we are often tempted to pack our calendars to the brim. An unrealistic calendar makes us temporarily think we are allowed to feel good because we are being responsible, determined and ready to accomplish all the things. It also gives us a temporary flood of relief from the thoughts about how little we are doing and how unworthy we are because of it. And when it turns out that the list on any given day is humanly impossible to complete, we blame ourselves for not being organized, disciplined or determined enough. And we think the solution is to yell at ourselves about how useless we are, so we can improve and do better tomorrow.
But guess what? If being abusive towards ourselves was the motivational tactic we believe it is, we would all be insanely productive, organized and fulfilled at this point! Yelling at ourselves for falling short of goals that we made up and that are vastly unrealistic is not a winning strategy for a fulfilled life (or for tackling your to-do list for that matter). Learning to cultivate positive motivation and work with your energy levels on any given day, while also cultivating a regular rest and leisure practice is vastly more helpful and, yes, also more productive.
Want to work on developing those skills and minimizing the guilt trips you give yourself around your unrealistic to-do lists? Schedule a free consultation now to discuss your stumbling blocks to a kinder and more sustainable way to approach your work.
