Stuck between the urge to resist/jump into action and the urge to dissociate?
Anyone else stuck between: “this is horrific, I need to do everything I can to mobilize, organize, and resist” and “this is too horrific, I need to just shut down, hibernate, and dissociate” right now?
This is a super normal reaction to everything we’ve been witnessing this week, but being stuck between those two states can feel unsettling, because it means bouncing between the guilt about shutting down and the overwhelm at the thought of doing anything.
But here’s the thing - thinking of those two states as the only two options is a manifestation of perfectionism and all-or-nothing thinking. Thinking that you should (or even can) help everyone and contribute to all the causes is a sign that your brain has been taught to see only the most intense option as acceptable, and everything else as “not really worth it.”
So the ONLY WAY to get out of that stuck state is to open up space in your brain for all the other options out there. Like picking one cause you are particularly invested in, and finding one small way to contribute to it this week, whether that it through a donation, or sharing their content, or any other ways in which they are looking for support (see below for some links related to causes I am personally invested in). Or checking in with a friend or colleague who is affected by the horrific policies being enacted right now. Or looking up ways to get involved in your local community and picking one event to attend in the next week/month.
Doing something small-scale will 1) still make a big difference for someone and 2) will teach your brain that there are options beyond being the perfect activist and that you can contribute without having to suddenly acquire superhuman levels of energy.
Because your options right now really are not to be the perfect activist vs. to do things imperfectly and on a smaller scale. Your options are: do things imperfectly and on a smaller scale OR get stuck imagining the most perfectionist scenario and shutting down from the overwhelm of it all.
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Please feel free to reach out if you need help and support! I am opening up some office hours during which you can come and talk to me about anything you’re struggling with and we will work out how to get you unstuck. To schedule an appointment, click here.
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P.S. Getting away from all-or-nothing thinking also applies to staying informed. Have a plan about consuming news and information for a limited amount of time and then stop. You do not need to be flooded with horrific headlines every second in order to stay informed. That will just put you right back into shut-down mode and can significantly impact your mental health.
P.S. 2: Please don’t shut down your own joy. Continue to do things that make you happy, connect with your loved ones, and take care of yourself. Shutting down the things that bring you joy helps no one and is not what the world needs right now.
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Some causes I am personally passionate about:
